Funerals are always a difficult time for family, friends and even clergy. This past weekend we buried one of the founding members of St. Michael’s Episcopal Church. Not that I am unfamiliar with dealing with death, both personally and professionally, it is still a difficult time for everyone involved.
Thankfully our Book of Common Prayer provides very sound guidelines for the preparation and performance of the burial rite. These guidelines are a great comfort both to the deceased’s family as well as to the church staff responsible for the burial service.
Very early on in my ministry I was reflecting on what is communicated in our burial rite and concluded that if anything, we, as the Church, are communicating the promise found in Matthew 28:20, “…And remember, I am with you always, to the end of the age.” One aspect of my ministry has always been the goal of trying to make our Holy Scriptures relevant and present in our everyday thoughts and actions. And, although the Burial Rite in our BCP underscores Christ’s promise to always be with us, I wondered if there was a way to communicate this promise in our liturgical actions as well.
From the time that I held my very first funeral, and every one since then, I have had the habit of watching the family members as they would drive away from the interment of the body. It did not take a great deal of observation skills to notice that, almost without exception, every time the car was pulling out of view of the grave site that the occupants would turn in their seats and take one last glance at the grave of their loved one. It was from this observation that I thought that it might be possible to incorporate into my actions a subconscious communication of Christ being present with their loved one. In addition, having attended many funerals held by other denominations, I have always been uncomfortable witnessing the officiating minister, having completed his or her liturgical functions, move over to the immediate family, shake their hands amd possibly say a few words, and then move out into the others gathered and begin what, to me appeared to be a process of evangelism, sharing in the light conversation and sometimes light banter. Then, having greeted those presemt, walk off to his or her car and on to other tasks for the day. Surely, there must be something we could do to underscore the promise that He would be with us always?
My liturgical practice during the time of a funeral service is that from the time the body arrives at the narthex of the church I do not leave the side of the body. Instructions are given to the funeral director that I will even ride in the lead vehicle with the body to the cemetery. I also have an acolyte with her processional cross proceed the funeral party for the procession from the church to the vehicle and from the vehicle to the actual graveside. All the while we remain dressed in our white albs for this portion of the service.
Once the internment has been completed, the acolyte with her processional cross and I remain at the head of the casket until all of the family members have departed the cemetery. My purpose is that, as the cars drive away, and the occupants turn for that one last look at the grave site, it is my belief that subconsciously the family is left with the image of these two figures, dressed in all white, standing beside the body of their loved one and in and through this visual image is reassured of the promise of our Lord that indeed, he will be with us always.
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