In my previous posts dealing with various aspects of Holy Baptism, both theological and pastoral [See: Holy Baptism: The Salt of Baptism, New Baptismal Theology? Adult Baptism, Holy Baptism: An Adult Respected and We Receive You], I have based my comments and understandings on what I understand as my theology of Holy Baptism. However, there are times when it is necessary to throw all the theological understandings and arguments out the window! But, I firmly believe that this should only be done for sound pastoral reasons.
During my years in Clinical Pastoral Education in a medical setting many situations arose which challenge a chaplain’s theology. As I have mentioned before, Clinical Pastoral Education has as a very basic principle the utilization of the “living human document” as the primary teaching tool in the development of pastoral skills and the providing of pastoral care. The “living human document” is the person being ministered to as well as the person offering pastoral ministry. And it is in the interaction of the minister and the layperson that pastoral care is defined, exercised and communicated.
One incident that has profoundly affected me in providing pastoral care occurred while I was serving as the Episcopal Chaplain to the Johns Hopkins Medical Institutions in Baltimore. A young couple [Jane and John - not their real names] had presented to the hospital with complications regarding a very difficult pregnancy. In discussions with the young couple it was extremely apparent how much they wanted this first child. In fact they had been planning for a family for several years and were now in a financial position, secure in their marriage and stable in their community to move forward on their plans. They were a loving, caring, and religious couple who wanting nothing more than to have a healthy child.
Due to the difficulty of the Jane’s pregnancy she needed to be hospitalized for the final two months of her pregnancy. Naturally during this time the hospital staff and the chaplain got to know the family on a very personal basis. Visits included talking about the future, hopes and dreams, prayers for a ‘healthy’ baby, home improvements, the baby’s room and crib, the difficulty of not knowing, the hospital experience and a wide variety of other topics appropriate for the hospital setting. The nursing staff had become particularly fond of the couple as they spent many off hours talking with this prospective mother and father.
On a Thursday morning around 3:00 a.m. the chaplain on call was paged to the maternity ward - never a good sign. Upon arrival it was discovered, while checking in at the nurses’ station, that Jane had just delivered a still-born child and that the couple wanted to have their child baptized.
What should be done? Baptismal theology is developed around the responses of the parents and god-parents in the name of a living child. Are there theological exceptions? What needs to be done now in this tragic situation? After saying a brief prayer it was time to find out.
The scene in the room was overpowering. There on the hospital bed was Jane cradling the still-born in her arms wrapped in a white baby blanket, a gift from Jane’s mother, with John standing at her bedside on her left and a nurse standing on the opposite side with her hand on Jane’s shoulder. The pain and suffering on everyone’s face said everything. Before anything could be muttered, both Jane and John said that they wanted to have Suzy baptized.
Pastoral care is not about intellectualizing theology; it is doing of theology. As it’s basis, pastoral care is the manifestation of the love and acceptance all Christians have received out of God’s love for each and every person. Although baptismal theology underscores that what takes place during the baptismal rite is not something that the priest, chaplain or Church does but is, in reality, a sign and a symbol of what God, in and through Jesus Christ, as already done for his children. Therefore, how could God’s love and concern be expressed in this setting?
The nurse immediately said she would like to assist if that was OK with everyone. What occurred next was the most powerful and graceful experience I have known of in my 35 years as an Episcopal priest. The first part of the baptismal service was recited. When it came time for the pouring of water everyone recognized that they had forgotten to set any aside. Drawing upon the trust and faith in the “living human document” the chaplain noticed that everyone was crying. Using that observation he reached out his fingers and, wiping the tears from Jane’s cheek, took her tears and made the sign of the cross upon Suzy’s forehead and recited the words, “I baptize you in the Name of the Father” and then, wiping the tears from John’s cheek, again making the sign of the cross and saying “and of the Son.” And finally wiping the tears from the nurse’s cheek and making a third sign of the cross on the child’s forehead and saying, “and of the Holy Spirit. Amen.” Immediately everyone then embraced and together prayed the Lord’s Prayer.
Shortly thereafter the still-born Suzy was taken away for an autopsy. Jane was discharged the next day and I have never heard from the couple again. However that sacramental experience continues to live in my life and ministry.
Frederick Buechner said: “Try this. Keep track of any event in the course of a week, a month, a year, that brings tears to your eyes. They may be happy moments or sad moments or moments that on the surface seem quite unremarkable, but in whichever case they are moments when you have been stirred to your roots, and it is there, at your roots, that God is at work in your life. Examine those moments with great care, ask why they brought tears, and you will learn much about God and about yourself too.”
One Response to “The Tears of Baptism: A Pastoral Response”
RSS feed for comments on this post. TrackBack URI
Arguably, the the Baptism was appropriate. The child was baptised as Christ’s own by you as Christ’s representative to perform the baptism. Second, Christ can heal all wounds, including healing the dead (as shown by the mircle in the Bible) and causing them to live (including in eternity), and he is not bound by linear time so that by raising the baby from the dead, the child was not dead but alive at the time of the baptism.